| WAHHHH!!! 
This matters to me so I typed a real length entry.
No sugarcoating. OK. There's this guy I met on www.myspace.com. He lives in California. I live in Ohio. Ok, now we all see problem #1. I think he's great. What I know about him. This is the same guy I think I broke up with last week. We're still talking. I like him more now. As much as one can wif out meeting one's object of desire. I'm proceeding slowly. Internet ppl can be scary and sometimes dangerous. I'm not sure he understands this. He wants me to move in with him. But here's the picture I'm getting: Me sitting at his house, waiting for him to get home from work. He works CONSTANTLY. He even admits to the fact that it's the reason he doesn't have a life. Or something like that. Anyway, he's constantly saying how much he cares about me, and wishes I was here etc. Then when I ask when we can meet, he always says he doesn't know cause of work. I even offered to drive to north carolina to see him in january ( and to surf, duh), but he says he doesn't know if he can. WHAT THE HECK! I'm a no BS kind of girl. I don't give it, and I don't take it. I've been patient cause I think he's something special, so far. My freinds and I are planing this fake prom thing for one of our other friends cause she din go to hers, and I really wanted him to go. But he can't, cause of work. Its a month and a half away, on new years. I don't WANT to kiss another guy on new years. I don't WANT to be in someone else's arms. But He can't come and I respect that.
So tonight, after the bzillionth 'when can i meetcha' convo, ending in the work excuse, he was all sad. I tried explainignt o him why I can't just run away to San Diego, he could be a rapist, he could ALSO be a really great guy. I still can't just go live with him without meeting him beforehand though. I tried to explain that its a big deal, and big decision. Then he got all sad. So we hung up. Cause he wouldn't explain himself or something. I wanted to talk about why he was sad. He said anytime he gets happy, it gets taken away. That's all I got outta him. I decided I wasn't letting the convo end on that note. I called back.
I was like, "You can't plan a life together without meeting someone in the first place. Lets set a date. I don't care when it is, 2 or three even months from now." And he gave me the same old work shpeil. I decided to bring it to his attention that I don't wait forever. I'm a woman that MAKES things happen. I don't wait for them. I phrased it carefully, and said, "I am not the sort of woman that sits on the backburner." I feel like he's wanting me to be martha stewart and just be there whenever he chooses for me to be. He sounded sadder than before, and I said that I wasn't trying to be demanding, if his work is priority number 1 I respect that. And then he said he had to unpack, and we hung up. I'm getting mixed signals. I'm having all the patience I can, and there's not much left. I'm not trying to be mean or cruel or horrible or anything, I don't want to be walked all over. |
